week two - thursday night

[sating]

[ This has turned into a more interesting evening than Hannibal expected, but in a way, he's finding he can't complain. As the interesting trio heads to his room, he does give a glance to Xion and Will in turn, seeing how they're finding the situation from their expressions. Regardless, it's not like it would change his own opinion too much. This is actually fairly amusing.

He lets them step inside first, and he dutifuly locks the door after, considering the fact that they're the ones in the possession of the camera. He speaks to Xion first with a light nod. ]

Make yourself as much at home as you can, Xion. You're welcome to the bed for the night.

[ Because that's the polite thing to do, naturally. But then when he speaks to Will, he's slightly less polite because. It's Will. ]

Not that I'm objecting to your company, but was it really necessary for you to join us, Will?

Comments

[ceded]

More than ... friends?

[ It is probably painfully clear that this definition does not make sense to her.

You done fucked up, Will.

Instead of immediately piping up with more questions like she kind of wants to do, though, she directs a somewhat uncertain look at Hannibal. He'll likely understand both her reticence and just why it is that all of this is so confusing and strange to her. She isn't even sure if she should keep asking. She isn't sure she wants to explain to Will why she doesn't know.

Is it ... okay for her to ask?

What does it even mean to be more than friends...? ]

[sating]

[ Words matter, Will. Or so Hannibal thinks, which is why he's always so incredibly careful with how he uses them. It's also why he's not at all surprised that Will's explanation confuses her, since knowing what he knows, it naturally wouldn't make much sense. He'll have to tell her that it's perfectly alright for her to speak freely around Will (in fact, considering his disorder, he would almost recommend it as a balance to her own), but for now, he doesn't pressure her into revealing more than she might want. For anyone else, Will's explanation would suffice, but the way that Hannibal elaborates is probably a bit telling. ]

There's not an easy word to define it, I'm afraid. Will and I met under unique circumstances, and that seemed to set the tone for our friendship.

[ Because of course, the unique circumstances may not have been Hannibal's doing, but how those developed? That was definitely his fault. He considers his words carefully, pausing for a moment, and then spares a glance to Will. It's a bit longer than a moment, but it's still brief, because he knows what Xion is most likely to understand, but even that word doesn't quite feel right. But for the purpose of explanation and for the pretenses they've set up here— ]

Love.

[ No, it's still not quite right, but he's not even sure if he could fully explain what he feels to Will. He's never needed to, because Will simply understands. That was the nature of who Will Graham was. It wasn't the sort of love that he imagines Xion will consider, and was in fact rather far from it. But love comes in many shades, and for someone just learning emotion, he won't try and teach that lesson so soon. After all, there was a chance she could learn that lesson as Abigail had, and that was why Will was here at all.

Though he'd been looking at Will as he said the word itself, he returns his attention to Xion as he continues. It's actually probably a small blessing that she's here, since it keeps his explanations straightforward instead of florid. ]

At least, in its simplest terms. It's more complex than that. But at its most basic, I would call it that.

[sweats]

[ Why is this happening.

He knows why, knows that this is his fault. He wanted to be straightforward with Xion because their interaction, even in relative private, is not something that makes a lot of sense. So, he thought he'd make it simple, make it seem like they were dating or something like that. But then he didn't expect Xion to not get it because granted, he doesn't know much about her other than the fact that what he feels from her is very straightforward too.

He definitely made a mistake here.

It becomes more of a mistake as Hannibal keeps talking and Will just frowns deeply down into his whiskey glass. He focuses intently on the sound of Winston trying to find a nice patch of corner to settle in for the evening. That's better than Xion's surprise or Hannibal's fucking riddles. Winston is happy, content, calm, and the more he focuses on the dog the more his own heartrate slows. God damnit, Hannibal. ]

Hannibal's in love with me. We share a mutual attraction. Simple.

[ Is it simple or is it complex, guys? But Will's not really clarifying more than that again and instead taking another much too long of a swallow from his drink. Unconsciously, his leg begins to bounce up and down from where he's sitting and Winston perks in response, watching Will attentively. He is not good at this. ]

Have you really never had any experience with this kind of thing, kid?

[ceded]

[ For a long moment she's quiet. She takes a moment as she thinks to shift through some of the camera feeds again, though doesn't get through the whole cycle before she stills, letting her hands fall into her lap.

It might even seem for a long moment that she's not going to reply, or like she's left the subject alone. The truth is, she's just.... thinking. And she lifts her eyes first to Hannibal, and then to Will, and wonders.

What is it like, to feel that way about another person? To understand ... what it means to care for another person that way? Does it ... feel differently, than she feels? About everything? Are their emotions different from hers? Will she ever be capable of feeling the way they do?

Hannibal uses the word "love," and it sounds so ... familiar. She's used it, too. She knows ... that that word is how she feels about her best friends. But the way he uses it, and the way he looked at Will when he said it... she knows she's never looked at anyone that way. She's never felt anything in her life ... that would make her want to look at someone that way. It's the same word, but to him, it must mean something different.

Will uses the words "in love," and that makes less sense. What is the difference between "love" and "in love"? Are they two different things? Are they the same? She doesn't think she's "in love" with her best friends, even though she "loves." them. Argh, this is so confusing!

Xion twists her hands together lightly, looking down at the floor, away from both of them. ]

... no. I've never looked at anyone the way Dr. Lecter looks at you. [ She glances up again, shy and unsure, and tucks a lock of hair behind her ear. ] I've had best friends, and I love them, but ... I can tell it's not the same. I still don't really understand it, but ... I think that's just because I've never felt it.

[ She falls quiet for a much briefer moment, thinking. ]

Sorry. I ... guess it's weird for someone my age not to know this stuff, huh? [ There's something there, lurking beneath her smile. Something beyond the awkward smile and the self-deprecation. It isn't bitterness, but it's a close cousin. ]

[sating]

No, I don't believe so. I think it's quite reasonable that someone your age would still be learning.

[ Of course, Hannibal knows that she's only a year old and Will doesn't, so he's not escaping the riddles yet. Though, really, when does Will ever escape them... ]

There are different kinds of love, but that's not something succinctly explained. It's been a topic of debate since the idea of debates have existed at all. So, yes, your love for your friends is different. But it is rooted in the same idea. You find joy and comfort in their company.

[ He inclines his head to her lightly, since he's speaking to what she is, at least partially. He doesn't know if her friends know, but he assumes so. ]

You find understanding.

[ Hannibal had been considering it, but as he looks to Will again trying to drown this conversation in whiskey, his smile quirks again. He doesn't tell him to stop, because that's a losing battle, but his expression does suggest that maybe he slow it down. He probably won't. ]

But, in short, that's why Will is here. He knows me well, and he wouldn't rest easy if he weren't here.

[sweats]

[ There's something terribly embarrassing about explaining this to a teenager. Even with Walter, Will wasn't very good at the heavy discussions. He remembers the weight of his gaze as Molly rested in the hospital bed, accusing him of what he read in Tattle Crime. This is different. This isn't your stepson accusing you of being a monster, this is a young girl who is just curious about something simple -- about love.

Though, he knows Hannibal would likely think the two conversations too similar for Will's own liking. ]

I wouldn't. Hannibal means a lot to me and while I know your intentions are good with having the camera together, it would leave me alone and, well, in a state of panic.

[ His hand tenses around his glass and he resists the urge to just switch to the bottle and chug. ]

The way we love each other is more of a bodily ache. [ He hesitates then, not having yet lumped himself in with love for Hannibal but here he is. ] Being separated for too long or not knowing what the other is doing, it hurts. And being with each other, it's the best feeling in the world.

[ Now, he gives in, taking a long drink from his glass. ]

Not like friendship at all.

[ceded]

[ Xion just kind of ends up looking blown away by all of this. She knew there were depths to emotion that she didn't, maybe couldn't, understand, but this is so far past any of her imaginings or idle questions she never dared to ask aloud before. It sounds so ... intense.

A bodily ... ache? It hurts? Why would you want a form of love that hurts? It's mystifying, but some piece of her feels like she could understand. Memories locked away deep inside her resonate with these descriptions in a way that makes her chest tighten, and she can't understand it.

Sora, you lazy bum. I knew that I'd find you snoozing down here.

Sora, let’s take the raft and go—just the two of us!

I believe in you.

This time, I’ll protect you.

Xion gives her head a shake, feeling strangely far away. ]

Sorry, [ she finally says, looking very sheepish. ] I didn't mean to pry. It just sounds ... amazing, if a little scary. You two are lucky.

[ Even if Will was ... you know, like that (an asshole), earlier, if Dr. Lecter can care about him this much, he ... must be okay, right? ]

[sating]

[ As Will explains, Hannibal watches him. It's unsurprising, considering this isn't actually something they've spoken about so bluntly. Their declarations of feelings came in much more abstract ways. And very often in blood. To hear it stated so plainly in words instead of the actions they've preferred—

The smile he gives Will is quite genuine in its warmth, though it's soft.

His attention turns back to Xion quickly as she speaks, and he nods along as she parses through it. ]

It's no bother at all. I would say you're right, after all. It is awe-inspiring. [ that's not what she said hannibal calm your ass down ] And also terrifying. But it's the combination that makes it something so coveted.

[sweats]

[ And that seems to be Will's limit, if the way he's scrubbing his face is any indication. ]

Yes, awe-inspiring. Coveted. Etcera. Can we stop talking about this now? It's --

[ Well, too much for him considering he's feeling both Hannibal's ridiculous adoration and Xion's confusion. It's a whiplash feeling and he's starting to feel sick. ]

A lot. You understand why I have to be here now, right? I couldn't let -- I always have to be with Hannibal.

[ceded]

[ Ah. Xion blinks, and then huffs a quiet laugh behind one of her hands. "Awe-inspiring," huh... she never said that!

But Will seems to be getting kind of ... annoyed? upset? it's hard for her to tell, but she decides to let it go, just smiling a little. ]

Okay.

[ She seems content to leave it at that.

... hopefully they can find something less taxing to talk about. After all, they're going to be here together all night with no sleep. ]