sating: (karl summons his army)
[personal profile] sating
[ As everyone is dispersing for the evening, Hannibal lingers for a moment to survey everyone. With the stress of the day, he imagines that there are quite a few people feeling stressed (to say the very least) by the day's events. Eventually, his attention stops on Sei and Xion, who had both been quite hopeful in their defenses of Tiara. Sei had asked to speak with him on medicine, and he considers going to her, but... That break in Xion's voice is fresher in his mind. It's also more vulnerable.

He follows her to the hall, then reaches out to place a hand on her shoulder once more. This one is lighter than before, but still kind. Even in such a simple gesture, there's worry. ]


Excuse me, Xion—

[ He hopes it isn't too rude to refer to her so casually when they hadn't been properly introduced, but she seemed fairly amenable to being casual in the first place. ]

Forgive me if I'm intruding... But would you like someone to talk to? I can gladly lend an ear. It's something like my duty, considering my line of work. [ He withdraws his hand, but nods to her lightly ] Though only if you would find it helpful. I don't wish to pry or push.

Date: 2017-01-23 03:51 am (UTC)
ceded: (pic#6877607)
From: [personal profile] ceded
[ Xion swallows, holding a breath without even realizing she's doing so. He seems ... so much like he means it.

But will that understanding turn into ... something else?

She's already sworn him to secrecy. What might he imagine, if she doesn't tell him now? ]


I'm not human, [ she says, through numb lips. Then she freezes, every piece of her body screaming out her desire to run. But she stays, through a visible effort of will, and swallows thickly. ]

Humans ... have had real lives, and ... families, and they ... they have hearts. I don't know ... if I have a heart. My superiors always told me that I didn't, no matter how I felt.

[ The words get easier as she talks, gaining at least enough strength for her to be audible without having to strain. Xion sighs out low and slow and shuts her eyes, resting her cheek on her knee. ]

Everyone keeps treating my age like it's a big deal, too. I wonder how they'd feel if they knew how old I really was. [ a mocking note enters her voice, but her derision is entirely for herself. ]

Date: 2017-01-23 05:51 am (UTC)
ceded: (pic#8806900)
From: [personal profile] ceded
[ That comment just serves to confuse her. Someone was never really taught basic anatomy during all her training in The World That Never Was.

Does he ... know something about lacking organs?? Why does he have experience with that? Xion just kind of frowns a little and tilts her head. ]


Um... I'm not really sure what you mean, but I'm built pretty differently from a human, too. You see, I'm just a doll. Something that someone made. I'm called ... a Replica.

[ Her breath shivers when she says it out loud. Admitting it is making her chest feel so tight, but he isn't glaring at her, or acting afraid. After a moment, Xion shifts in her seat, tucking her legs up beside her instead of curling up into that tight little ball. ]

I think ... what you said, about the heart being a construct? That part is definitely correct. We were told ... that hearts would allow us to feel, and make us human again. Of course, I wasn't like the others. [ bitter, bitter. ] I don't know if a heart would really help me at all. But ... no one in the Organization really felt anything, even if we all pretended we did. So ... it's really hard for me to understand emotions. I don't know the name for a lot of things, and I don't even know if what I'm feeling is the real thing.

what's an organ???????

Date: 2017-01-23 06:24 am (UTC)
ceded: (pic#6832622)
From: [personal profile] ceded
Well ... okay.

[ She seems content to let it go, trusting that it's not important.

Xion is a little visibly nervous as he thinks, even though his disposition hasn't changed. She's starting to have this feeling like even if he did have distaste for her, he wouldn't be overt about it. Or ... is she just so stuck in the belief that everyone will hate her for being a Replica that she's imagining him judging her even when he's not? Get a grip, Xion.

His question gets her eyes to widen, and she pulls in a slow breath, sitting forward. With heartbreaking sincerity: ]


More than anything.

Date: 2017-01-23 06:48 am (UTC)
ceded: (pic#6832613)
From: [personal profile] ceded
[ Xion stares at him with eyes that shine.

Whatever you are feeling, that is real enough.

With no real warning - or, perhaps, this was obviously going to happen - she dissolves, just a little, misting over as she retreats a little into herself to rub at her face and sniff quietly. She has to swallow, and take a breath, but she manages to calm down pretty quickly.

Once she does, she unfolds completely, setting her feet flat on the floor and sitting up straight. The look on her face is very determined. ]


Okay. If I really understand emotions, then... I can be a better friend, and support everyone who's supporting me. I'll learn, whatever it takes.

Date: 2017-01-24 05:35 am (UTC)
ceded: (pic#6877519)
From: [personal profile] ceded
[ Was ... he going to offer her that? (What's the word... handkerchief?)

Xion sighs out through her nose, her expression softening slightly. She's ... really lucky that she met someone like him. Someone kind that she can trust, someone who won't mock her or treat her like she's worthless...

Pressing the heels of her palms into the chair besides her thighs, Xion tilts her head slightly, considering the question. She sounds a little uncertain when she answers, but not nearly as scared as before. ]


No, it's okay. I don't mind answering. I was created a little over a year ago. Actually... my birthday was on Friday, if I counted the days right. [ Her smile turns a little sad. ]

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dr. hannibal "polite vore man" lecter

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