Entry tags:
week two - thursday night
[ This has turned into a more interesting evening than Hannibal expected, but in a way, he's finding he can't complain. As the interesting trio heads to his room, he does give a glance to Xion and Will in turn, seeing how they're finding the situation from their expressions. Regardless, it's not like it would change his own opinion too much. This is actually fairly amusing.
He lets them step inside first, and he dutifuly locks the door after, considering the fact that they're the ones in the possession of the camera. He speaks to Xion first with a light nod. ]
Make yourself as much at home as you can, Xion. You're welcome to the bed for the night.
[ Because that's the polite thing to do, naturally. But then when he speaks to Will, he's slightly less polite because. It's Will. ]
Not that I'm objecting to your company, but was it really necessary for you to join us, Will?
He lets them step inside first, and he dutifuly locks the door after, considering the fact that they're the ones in the possession of the camera. He speaks to Xion first with a light nod. ]
Make yourself as much at home as you can, Xion. You're welcome to the bed for the night.
[ Because that's the polite thing to do, naturally. But then when he speaks to Will, he's slightly less polite because. It's Will. ]
Not that I'm objecting to your company, but was it really necessary for you to join us, Will?
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Yes.
[ AND THAT'S ALL HE SAYS. He is also, because he is a responsible adult, holding a bottle of whiskey in his hand to keep himself occupied for the night. Responsible. Adult. He just heads straight to the couch next to the door and plops down in the corner, toeing his shoes off and content to sit there for the rest of the night. Don't mind him? ]
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Not that he seems to care. Xion makes a rather displeased face at him before moving over to the bed. She's still wearing her same clothes for the day, not wanting to be in pajamas if they do get attacked. In her arms, though, is a bundle (slightly misshapen) of blanket. Maybe she wanted it for comfort? Either way, she gives Hannibal a small and grateful smile as she sets her bundle, and then herself, on the offered bed.
She's quiet for about half a second before staring at Will and saying: ]
Why are you here?
[ ... rather bluntly. It's not snide or annoyed, but it is rather straightforward. ]
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He considers explaining this himself, since Xion might need a better introduction here, but he decides to let Will do it instead. She had asked Will, not him, after all. That, and more honestly, he's amused to see what Will's response to that question would be.
So instead, he gives Winston a fond pat. At least someone else is perfectly happy to be here. ]
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When Hannibal offers Will the blanket and pillows, he continues to frown but takes them with a mumbled thank you and sets them to the side. He'll crack open the bottle of whiskey a moment later and take a sip from the bottle while he glances over at Xion for her question.
After he pulls the bottle back, he points in Hannibal's direction. ]
Hannibal's here. So, I'm here. [ He shrugs. ] I would never let him do something like this alone.
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Xion lights up a little bit when Winston comes over to her. She'll reach a hand out for Winston to sniff at, and meanwhile watches Will and Hannibal interact.
A dear friend...
She considers his explanation with what probably seems like an unwarranted amount of gravity. Finally, she pipes up again: ]
Why?
[ There's no agenda to the question. She sincerely wants to hear Will's reasoning. She could understand if their positions were reversed, and Hannibal wanted to be present - he seems like a really caring person. But Will ... kind of doesn't. Was he worried for Hannibal's safety...? ]
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He cares.
[ Hannibal answers for Will here, even if it's simple to the point of being purposefully vague. Will isn't here out of concern for Hannibal, and they're both well aware of that. He hands the glass to Will, then seeming satisfied enough with having everything set for guests, he takes a seat on the couch with Will, though he's sitting on the opposite side of it to give them a comfortable amount of space. ]
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The problem is, he's not guarding Hannibal. He's guarding Xion. Will doesn't really care if she never realizes this.
There's also the problem with that simplifying, which he knows he doesn't need to explain and really doesn't quite want to -- but just saying that he cares doesn't settle well with him so as Hannibal offers the glass, Will takes it but doesn't quite let go and grips Hannibal be the wrist for a moment. In the next, he's pressing a light chaste kiss to the back of Hannibal's hand before letting it go and another mumbled thanks. Then he goes to pouring his whiskey. ]
Hannibal's my partner. We're pretty private about it.
1/3
Xion is going to briefly clamber off the bed and pick up the camera. She frowns at it, tapping her way through the various feeds for a moment, and then decides, well, whatever, apparently. She sets the camera back down on a table firmly in the middle of the room and settles herself down in front of it. She'd take it back to the bed with her, but then the other two, particularly Hannibal, couldn't see.
She does look up in time to catch that kiss, and her expression is like--
Well. Icon. ]
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A kiss??????????????? Whooooaaaaa.
wait what ]
done
Partner.... so are you guys, like, married? [ she heard that word from Claire and he really likes Chane a lot so
????????
head tilt ] Or... sorry, I don't really get what partner means.
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Hannibal looks away, briefly. It's a muted gesture of being flustered which he's keeping composed largely because of Xion's presence. He's a bit grateful for her question, since it provides a distraction from, to be honest, having a doki. ]
Eloped is more accurate, technically.
[ They're a bit beyond married. He doesn't think there's any word to truly encapsulate what they are. Hannibal looks to Will as he continues, since as he explains for Xion, he's basically looking for gestures of agreement or dissent from Will on how to define it. ]
We find understanding in each other that is not found anywhere else. That is how I would characterize our relationship.
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Which is probably a good thing since Xion's kind of losing her shit. He took a risk and it backfired and now Will is full of regret. He didn't want to answer questions. ]
If she doesn't know what a partner is, I doubt she knows what eloped means, Hannibal.
[ Like... come on. In Will's opinion, they can use a simple word for it for now because it's not as if it really matters in the long run. It's just an image, a projection. Still, he sighs and looks mildly exasperated, but not in denial. ]
He's right though even if he's making it sound like a ... a whole thing. We're just... a bit more than friends, in a sense.
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[ It is probably painfully clear that this definition does not make sense to her.
You done fucked up, Will.
Instead of immediately piping up with more questions like she kind of wants to do, though, she directs a somewhat uncertain look at Hannibal. He'll likely understand both her reticence and just why it is that all of this is so confusing and strange to her. She isn't even sure if she should keep asking. She isn't sure she wants to explain to Will why she doesn't know.
Is it ... okay for her to ask?
What does it even mean to be more than friends...? ]
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There's not an easy word to define it, I'm afraid. Will and I met under unique circumstances, and that seemed to set the tone for our friendship.
[ Because of course, the unique circumstances may not have been Hannibal's doing, but how those developed? That was definitely his fault. He considers his words carefully, pausing for a moment, and then spares a glance to Will. It's a bit longer than a moment, but it's still brief, because he knows what Xion is most likely to understand, but even that word doesn't quite feel right. But for the purpose of explanation and for the pretenses they've set up here— ]
Love.
[ No, it's still not quite right, but he's not even sure if he could fully explain what he feels to Will. He's never needed to, because Will simply understands. That was the nature of who Will Graham was. It wasn't the sort of love that he imagines Xion will consider, and was in fact rather far from it. But love comes in many shades, and for someone just learning emotion, he won't try and teach that lesson so soon. After all, there was a chance she could learn that lesson as Abigail had, and that was why Will was here at all.
Though he'd been looking at Will as he said the word itself, he returns his attention to Xion as he continues. It's actually probably a small blessing that she's here, since it keeps his explanations straightforward instead of florid. ]
At least, in its simplest terms. It's more complex than that. But at its most basic, I would call it that.
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He knows why, knows that this is his fault. He wanted to be straightforward with Xion because their interaction, even in relative private, is not something that makes a lot of sense. So, he thought he'd make it simple, make it seem like they were dating or something like that. But then he didn't expect Xion to not get it because granted, he doesn't know much about her other than the fact that what he feels from her is very straightforward too.
He definitely made a mistake here.
It becomes more of a mistake as Hannibal keeps talking and Will just frowns deeply down into his whiskey glass. He focuses intently on the sound of Winston trying to find a nice patch of corner to settle in for the evening. That's better than Xion's surprise or Hannibal's fucking riddles. Winston is happy, content, calm, and the more he focuses on the dog the more his own heartrate slows. God damnit, Hannibal. ]
Hannibal's in love with me. We share a mutual attraction. Simple.
[ Is it simple or is it complex, guys? But Will's not really clarifying more than that again and instead taking another much too long of a swallow from his drink. Unconsciously, his leg begins to bounce up and down from where he's sitting and Winston perks in response, watching Will attentively. He is not good at this. ]
Have you really never had any experience with this kind of thing, kid?
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It might even seem for a long moment that she's not going to reply, or like she's left the subject alone. The truth is, she's just.... thinking. And she lifts her eyes first to Hannibal, and then to Will, and wonders.
What is it like, to feel that way about another person? To understand ... what it means to care for another person that way? Does it ... feel differently, than she feels? About everything? Are their emotions different from hers? Will she ever be capable of feeling the way they do?
Hannibal uses the word "love," and it sounds so ... familiar. She's used it, too. She knows ... that that word is how she feels about her best friends. But the way he uses it, and the way he looked at Will when he said it... she knows she's never looked at anyone that way. She's never felt anything in her life ... that would make her want to look at someone that way. It's the same word, but to him, it must mean something different.
Will uses the words "in love," and that makes less sense. What is the difference between "love" and "in love"? Are they two different things? Are they the same? She doesn't think she's "in love" with her best friends, even though she "loves." them. Argh, this is so confusing!
Xion twists her hands together lightly, looking down at the floor, away from both of them. ]
... no. I've never looked at anyone the way Dr. Lecter looks at you. [ She glances up again, shy and unsure, and tucks a lock of hair behind her ear. ] I've had best friends, and I love them, but ... I can tell it's not the same. I still don't really understand it, but ... I think that's just because I've never felt it.
[ She falls quiet for a much briefer moment, thinking. ]
Sorry. I ... guess it's weird for someone my age not to know this stuff, huh? [ There's something there, lurking beneath her smile. Something beyond the awkward smile and the self-deprecation. It isn't bitterness, but it's a close cousin. ]
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[ Of course, Hannibal knows that she's only a year old and Will doesn't, so he's not escaping the riddles yet. Though, really, when does Will ever escape them... ]
There are different kinds of love, but that's not something succinctly explained. It's been a topic of debate since the idea of debates have existed at all. So, yes, your love for your friends is different. But it is rooted in the same idea. You find joy and comfort in their company.
[ He inclines his head to her lightly, since he's speaking to what she is, at least partially. He doesn't know if her friends know, but he assumes so. ]
You find understanding.
[ Hannibal had been considering it, but as he looks to Will again trying to drown this conversation in whiskey, his smile quirks again. He doesn't tell him to stop, because that's a losing battle, but his expression does suggest that maybe he slow it down. He probably won't. ]
But, in short, that's why Will is here. He knows me well, and he wouldn't rest easy if he weren't here.
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Though, he knows Hannibal would likely think the two conversations too similar for Will's own liking. ]
I wouldn't. Hannibal means a lot to me and while I know your intentions are good with having the camera together, it would leave me alone and, well, in a state of panic.
[ His hand tenses around his glass and he resists the urge to just switch to the bottle and chug. ]
The way we love each other is more of a bodily ache. [ He hesitates then, not having yet lumped himself in with love for Hannibal but here he is. ] Being separated for too long or not knowing what the other is doing, it hurts. And being with each other, it's the best feeling in the world.
[ Now, he gives in, taking a long drink from his glass. ]
Not like friendship at all.
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A bodily ... ache? It hurts? Why would you want a form of love that hurts? It's mystifying, but some piece of her feels like she could understand. Memories locked away deep inside her resonate with these descriptions in a way that makes her chest tighten, and she can't understand it.
Sora, you lazy bum. I knew that I'd find you snoozing down here.
Sora, let’s take the raft and go—just the two of us!
I believe in you.
This time, I’ll protect you.
Xion gives her head a shake, feeling strangely far away. ]
Sorry, [ she finally says, looking very sheepish. ] I didn't mean to pry. It just sounds ... amazing, if a little scary. You two are lucky.
[ Even if Will was ... you know, like that (an asshole), earlier, if Dr. Lecter can care about him this much, he ... must be okay, right? ]
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The smile he gives Will is quite genuine in its warmth, though it's soft.
His attention turns back to Xion quickly as she speaks, and he nods along as she parses through it. ]
It's no bother at all. I would say you're right, after all. It is awe-inspiring. [ that's not what she said hannibal calm your ass down ] And also terrifying. But it's the combination that makes it something so coveted.
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Yes, awe-inspiring. Coveted. Etcera. Can we stop talking about this now? It's --
[ Well, too much for him considering he's feeling both Hannibal's ridiculous adoration and Xion's confusion. It's a whiplash feeling and he's starting to feel sick. ]
A lot. You understand why I have to be here now, right? I couldn't let -- I always have to be with Hannibal.
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But Will seems to be getting kind of ... annoyed? upset? it's hard for her to tell, but she decides to let it go, just smiling a little. ]
Okay.
[ She seems content to leave it at that.
... hopefully they can find something less taxing to talk about. After all, they're going to be here together all night with no sleep. ]